I truly enjoy the IF & 3T communities I have found on thebump.com! It is so nice to have such wonderful women as a part of my journey.
4.26.2011
LuckySocks!
Thank you cakpeterson! They definitely feel Lucky!
Drinks and Cupcakes...Oh!...And the Chocolates!
So glad I was able to be a part of such a fantastic exchange.
I truly enjoy the IF & 3T communities I have found on thebump.com! It is so nice to have such wonderful women as a part of my journey.
I truly enjoy the IF & 3T communities I have found on thebump.com! It is so nice to have such wonderful women as a part of my journey.
Open Letter Tuesday submission
It felt good writing this today...
Dear Ute,
I thought we were on the same page here. We found a great RE who was able to get you in tip-top shape to carry a baby for me. I thought we were going to be able to start a new chapter. I have not used you in over 3 decades! Pretty sure I am not asking too much. Give me a few babies and you can go back to becoming the center of attention every 26-28 days. Your lining always looks great and the u/s tech is highly impressed by you month after month. Please be accepting of the visitors DH is sending your way during this crucial time. They will not overstay their welcome, just a few days. I don't understand what more you need from me. Unless...
Dear Ovaries,
I appreciate that you are responding to all the meds, truely I did not believe you to ever have been an issue. But now I am wondering if you think it is your turn in the spotlight. My wish from you is that you produce 1-2 MATURE follies this month. Just in case it was the Clomid you did not like, I will now be sticking a needle into my body instead of a pill. This is all for you! You know how much I dislike needles and this time I will be in a hotel all alone without DH to do the honors. Please show a host some love.
Dear Cervix,
If you are the issue, please help me out.
Thank you,
Your (Humble) Host
Dear Ute,
I thought we were on the same page here. We found a great RE who was able to get you in tip-top shape to carry a baby for me. I thought we were going to be able to start a new chapter. I have not used you in over 3 decades! Pretty sure I am not asking too much. Give me a few babies and you can go back to becoming the center of attention every 26-28 days. Your lining always looks great and the u/s tech is highly impressed by you month after month. Please be accepting of the visitors DH is sending your way during this crucial time. They will not overstay their welcome, just a few days. I don't understand what more you need from me. Unless...
Dear Ovaries,
I appreciate that you are responding to all the meds, truely I did not believe you to ever have been an issue. But now I am wondering if you think it is your turn in the spotlight. My wish from you is that you produce 1-2 MATURE follies this month. Just in case it was the Clomid you did not like, I will now be sticking a needle into my body instead of a pill. This is all for you! You know how much I dislike needles and this time I will be in a hotel all alone without DH to do the honors. Please show a host some love.
Dear Cervix,
If you are the issue, please help me out.
Thank you,
Your (Humble) Host
4.22.2011
Ramblings of the week...
I am home, I am thinking about Monday. Not because I am going back to work, that is POAS day! Pretty sure it will result in a BFN. Seeing as I have been having the typical start to my AF symptoms: I am an emotional wreck, gassy, back pains, bloating & others that are not occurring at this moment. My mind starts the guilty thoughts. K's swimmers are in great shape. So, in my mind obviously, we still have no baby due to my crazy woman parts. Nothing I am able to directly control, that is what Dr G is for. *Woe is Me
Today is Good Friday. Just the Friday before Easter to most. For me it is the day, well I am not much for actual dates, K actually proposed 2 years ago. We were already planning the wedding. The date came before the ring. It is almost a tradition in my family. My mom was engaged with a date and did not get a ring until they were actually married, just a plain gold band. For their 25th she got a diamond. But I digress. So I guess you could say, today is our engagement anniversary. Again, I am not good at obscure dates. *Ah the Memories
So this week has been a rough one. *Unbelievable
The ONLY good thing about how crappy my work week was is that I did not have time to obsess about the end of my 2ww! *Hmmm
Even today, I am unable to clear out my dvr without work interruptions! Really, it should not take 2 hours to watch L&O. *Seriously?!
The beginning of the week was challenging, nothing too out of the norm. The storms made it harder; sunshine does wonders. Midweek the sun came out, I thought the weeks troubles were over. I was wrong. *Uh-Oh
I need to vent...again about this. So I understand there are times one needs to be a bit more harsh with people, when you don't feel as though your side is being taken into consideration. What I don't understand is when you are rude, just to be so. If you give shit, you will not always get back rainbows. I understand that everyone has a bad day. Fine. But if you have a bad day everyday, and you choose to take it out on my employee, we will have serious issues. When you finally get called out on your crap, don't try to turn it around on me. Sorry for you, but our paths have not crossed before; that is why you are now being called out. This is a behavior I will not and am not paid to tolerate nor will my employees. Yes Ma'am, your 3 year reign of terror, condescension and harassment is over. I know other people with my company deal with your shenanigans, not me! I can't imagine if you treat strangers in this manner, how you treat your friends and loved ones. Oh, I will not be reading your 2 responses to the 1 e-mail I sent out until Monday. *UGH
So glad I am back home for the weekend and hopefully all of next week. I need to be able to sleep next to K, I have missed it so. *Ahhh, True Bliss
Off to pop a prometrium. *Woo hoo
Today is Good Friday. Just the Friday before Easter to most. For me it is the day, well I am not much for actual dates, K actually proposed 2 years ago. We were already planning the wedding. The date came before the ring. It is almost a tradition in my family. My mom was engaged with a date and did not get a ring until they were actually married, just a plain gold band. For their 25th she got a diamond. But I digress. So I guess you could say, today is our engagement anniversary. Again, I am not good at obscure dates. *Ah the Memories
So this week has been a rough one. *Unbelievable
The ONLY good thing about how crappy my work week was is that I did not have time to obsess about the end of my 2ww! *Hmmm
Even today, I am unable to clear out my dvr without work interruptions! Really, it should not take 2 hours to watch L&O. *Seriously?!
The beginning of the week was challenging, nothing too out of the norm. The storms made it harder; sunshine does wonders. Midweek the sun came out, I thought the weeks troubles were over. I was wrong. *Uh-Oh
I need to vent...again about this. So I understand there are times one needs to be a bit more harsh with people, when you don't feel as though your side is being taken into consideration. What I don't understand is when you are rude, just to be so. If you give shit, you will not always get back rainbows. I understand that everyone has a bad day. Fine. But if you have a bad day everyday, and you choose to take it out on my employee, we will have serious issues. When you finally get called out on your crap, don't try to turn it around on me. Sorry for you, but our paths have not crossed before; that is why you are now being called out. This is a behavior I will not and am not paid to tolerate nor will my employees. Yes Ma'am, your 3 year reign of terror, condescension and harassment is over. I know other people with my company deal with your shenanigans, not me! I can't imagine if you treat strangers in this manner, how you treat your friends and loved ones. Oh, I will not be reading your 2 responses to the 1 e-mail I sent out until Monday. *UGH
So glad I am back home for the weekend and hopefully all of next week. I need to be able to sleep next to K, I have missed it so. *Ahhh, True Bliss
Off to pop a prometrium. *Woo hoo
4.15.2011
Dream updated
So I am having another birthday on Sunday. We are having friends over for a bbq & I am excited. So right now, you would think that I would be cleaning my excessively cluttered house. Getting rid of the "lived in" look. But I got home fairly early today. Made a hair appointment (in honor of getting older...I think) & done some serious clearing out of the dvr (by watching as many shows as I can until K gets home). Last night, K and I were the same sort of productive when it comes to cleaning. That is when K brought up the saying or idiom "bump on a log" which he thought would make more sense if the saying were "bum on a log." Which when you think about it, could work. Or at lease it makes sense. Why that particular set of words? Who was the influential person who decided that they would use "bump/lump on a log"? When did this phrase catch on? So many questions, so few answers!
Not much to report on the fertility front. Don't get to test for a little over a week. Until then I am going to be changing my idea to being pregnant or having a child by the time I am 33. Tired of the sliding scale which does not stop sliding! Updating the dream again.
K is home, time to clean!
Not much to report on the fertility front. Don't get to test for a little over a week. Until then I am going to be changing my idea to being pregnant or having a child by the time I am 33. Tired of the sliding scale which does not stop sliding! Updating the dream again.
K is home, time to clean!
4.11.2011
Screen Names and Initials
How did you decide on your screen name?
I decided on mine after a conversation with my Australian friend, F. She said she was feeling clucky. F has a, gosh, 10 year old, unplanned blessing. Holy cow....Now I feel OLD.
Anyway, I asked "Clucky?"
"Yeah. Um it is when you start wanting a baby."
"Gotcha, baby fever. Yep, I have that...BAD"
The rest is just initials.
Since we are on the topic of initials. My boss tells me he is keeping track of training he & I are doing. Everytime he has to enter my initials he thinks EViL. It took me a bit too long to catch on to what he was saying. I have been married 2 years in August. Have yet to write out just my married initials. Typically included is my maiden name initial. So now I am going to have to make sure that I always include the G, if not I am running around as EVL. GREAT!
Officially in the 2ww...Ugh.
I decided on mine after a conversation with my Australian friend, F. She said she was feeling clucky. F has a, gosh, 10 year old, unplanned blessing. Holy cow....Now I feel OLD.
Anyway, I asked "Clucky?"
"Yeah. Um it is when you start wanting a baby."
"Gotcha, baby fever. Yep, I have that...BAD"
The rest is just initials.
Since we are on the topic of initials. My boss tells me he is keeping track of training he & I are doing. Everytime he has to enter my initials he thinks EViL. It took me a bit too long to catch on to what he was saying. I have been married 2 years in August. Have yet to write out just my married initials. Typically included is my maiden name initial. So now I am going to have to make sure that I always include the G, if not I am running around as EVL. GREAT!
Officially in the 2ww...Ugh.
4.10.2011
Catching up
For the first time in years, I am trapped in the constant waiting game. Waiting for AF, waiting for follicles to grow, waiting to trigger, then the dreaded 2 week wait (2ww)! Trying to schedule travel for work around all of this waiting.
Maybe I should go back to 2009.
October 2007 - External Ultrasound shows "heart-shaped" uterus. Told this is no big deal and fairly common.
November 2007 - Gallbladder Removed. 4 incision scars
July 2009 - Ultrasound shows abnormality in uterus. Well actually it looked like the mask of Zorro. Most women would see one dark circle in the middle of the ultrasound picture, I saw two. Nice? Good news is that the external uterine cavity is ONE with no dip. Excellent!
July 2009 - Hysterosalpingogram, HSG, which took the wind out of me due to the pain, showed a large (100%) Uterine Septum. Great!?!
November 2009 - Begin trying to conceive. Fun! Fun! Fun?
July 2010 - Trying Natural Family Planning (believed this would be less invasive than going with my surgeon/reproductive specialist) This includes checking CM for sensation, color and stretch before and after every trip to the restroom, before and after showering, after I woke up & before I went to bed. Exhausting!
October 2010 - Every other day blood work, daily ultrasounds to check for follicles and ovulation. All shows I am ovulating. Call for results and no returned calls, however all results showed up by USPS for the next 3 days. Thyroid levels fine, progesterone shows on track until 7dpo, & estrogen fine. K's semen analysis comes back well above average. Confirmed, focus on me. Yippee!?
November 2010 - Dr wants to open me up "just to see." Come to find out this is part of his treatment for EVERYONE. Yeah, now I feel a bit uncomfortable. Asked to track temps 4 times daily to check Thyroid function (blood-work shows no issues).
December 2010 - Sister has another surgery, this time by my surgeon, Dr G. She and I talk. I cry. She hugs me. I miss her. Hmmmm?
December 2010 - Prescribes T3, the only thyroid medication he will prescribe. Side effects are horrendous: temps are all over and I can't stay awake. Told by nurse to stop taking. I asked about new medication or how he would handle the perceived issue with my thyroid. "We will get back to you."
Happy New Year! = Time for a new plan that I feel comfortable with.
January 2011 - "Just to see" surgery just around the corner. I don't feel as if I can trust the NFP Dr & I don't want to be cut on again. Especially just to see. Plus they still haven't called back (4 weeks later) with an answer for me about the thyroid issue. Ridiculous!
January 2011- Meet with Dr G about a plan. The next day I go in for ultrasound and Sonohysterogram. SHG shows no changes since surgery. U/S shows follicles on left ovary, plan becomes HCG trigger + TI + prometrium for this cycle = BFN
February 2011 - Due to work & unmonitored start of cycle, we will have a natural cycle + TI = BFN
March 2011 - Clomid 50mg + HCG trigger + TI + prometrium = BFN
April 2011 - Clomid 100mg + HCG trigger + TI + prometrium = ??
So that catches us up to today and a bit beyond. Tomorrow begins the 2WW and the always loathed prometrium.
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