Emotional, a poem & 13dpiui

So emotional today.  While I was perusing my usual lurking spots today on thebump, I found myself tearing up.  Not sure what it is, but the earlier part of the week was full of ignorance.  It is not bliss...well maybe not always insert example right here  ::hmph::  Ignorance is irritating.  Yep!  Irritating.

Today was physically exhausting as well.  It was so hot today & I was out in the warehouse rearranging the display areas.  Oh and counting it all.  Did I mention I am allergic to dust?  I am.  I started coughing after I washed up.  ::ugh::  Made a pretty good dent, now I just need to make sure that it stays organized (even though I won't be back for 2 weeks).  This will be good stuff to put on my annual review.  This place needs some help in the organization department; I may be too OCD for them.  ::sigh::

I will be testing Saturday, when I get back home with DH.  So I would think that at 16dpiui it will either be definitely '+' or '-'...none of this is that a line stuff.  Wish me luck!

   

Angela2004 reposted this today...

Poem to Give us comfort

A friend of mine that ended up adopting a wonder boy over a year ago knew that I have been struggling lately with the unexplained infertility that I'm going through (& have been for 2 years) & the co-workers around me that are getting pregnant so easy gave me a wonderful poem that reminded me of keeping my eyes on the prize of becoming a mother.

Hope you all enjoy it - warning it's a tear jerker.

There are women who become mothers without effort,
without thought,
without patience or loss,
and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover.
I will Marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him
and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot, or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself Lucky in the sense; that God has given me that insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, sister, because I know pain.

I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen, and even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight of mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.